Look At Each Other

Eye contact also fades when people have something to hide from one another. It is difficult to look someone in the eye and hold the gaze if you are operating from a base of deception and dishonesty. A lack of eye contact and dishonesty seem to go hand in hand. Openness and trust in a relationship begin with penetrating eye contact. Eyes are the avenue to the soul, and much nonverbal communication takes place through lingering affectionate glances." #NVP

#NVP

I need to post this somewhere and it cannot fit in a tweet or Facebook status, so here we go:

Pair-bonding instincts are activated whenever opportunity presents itself for (1) prolonged periods of eye contact; (2) sufficient privacy during which two persons engage in any gestures of touching; and (3) the giving of empathy, comfort, and compassion. When privacy exists, the emotions of empathy or even pity are activated, and sexual arousal may result. Over a period of time, unless emotions are carefully guarded, two persons who had no intention of "falling in love" find themselves becoming attached to each other."

This is from:

Compleat Communication

How to Talk So Your Mate Will Listen - and Listen So Your Mate Will Talk

Nancy L. Van Pelt

Wrap Up - Marriage God's Way

The Joy of Marriage God's Way
Marriage-Building Messages featuring
Beverly LaHaye,
Julie Clinton,
Joyce Penner,
Barbara Rosberg,
Deb Laaser,
Carrie Oliver
and Laurie S. Hall

I thought I wouldn't really enjoy this book, but I figured it might still have some useful knowledge scattered throughout.
I was pleasantly surprised, I did enjoy the book and it had a lot of good knowledge concerning marriage.

This book was written by six female authors, and it was written for a female audience, but I still very much gained from it. (a man can never complete the quest of understanding women)

I can still remember, off the top of my head, the last two chapters. One was penned by a woman whose husband was a famous counsellor and pastor. He ended up getting found out as a sex addict. The author talks about the struggle of dealing with that, and the intimacy issue of their marriage which perpetuated her husbands problem. The last chapter was interesting because resolution was found in the author leaving her marriage. Her husband struggled with pornography and prostitution, (if my memory serves me correctly), and he continued to choose those vices before and above his marriage.

This is a book I borrowed so I didn't highlight in it. I'm going to try and look up some of my #MGW tweets on twitter so I can share, and remember, a few nuggets:

This is the great gift of despair: It strips us of that which we think is important in order to awaken us to that which is essential." #MGW

.. joy burns brightest after hope has entered into the dark agony of despair." #MGW

(I think twitter is limiting my search to tweets from within the last week, let me try facebook):

Life is all about the choices we make. The choices I have made in the past have led me to where I am today. The choices I make today will lead me to where I will be tomorrow. My tomorrow is full of promise and that promise starts with who I am today." #MGW

Hope requires us to risk trusting that the dreams God has given us will come true without the foundation of knowing exactly how things will play out or when resolution will occur." #MGW

Seeking forgiveness is a matter of the heart, purposely turning away from a specific infraction and making the promise not to inflict harm in that way again. It's not something you simply do for the sake of restoring peace." #MGW

The Chapters and Authors were:

The Joy of Marriage God's Way
Beverly LaHaye

Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage
Julie Clinton

Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage
Joyce Penner

Making Your Marriage a Great Marriage
Barbara Rosberg

Can God Heal a Marriage?
Deb Laaser

Talk, Touch, and Tenderness in Marriage
Carrie Oliver

Beyond Betrayal
Laurie Sharlene Hall

Book Report - Kissed Dating Goodbye

Joshua Harris - I Kissed Dating Goodbye

AfterThoughts:

It was a pleasure to read this book again. I did a lot of highlighting.

It was fascinating to me to look at my personal growth between when I first read the book and now. The principles were new to me, but they were very much in accordance with the approach I was starting to take towards relationships at the time.
The principles and guidelines are no longer new to me. I've come to value them wholeheartedly. I can always get down with anything that supports a reverence for human beings, human hearts and human relationships.
This book is a great tool to help young people steer away from the fruitless heartache of detrimental relationships that is ever so common in this day and age.

SnapShots:

- Chapter 15 - Principled Romance
- "Strong marriages are built on a solid foundation of the mutual respect, appreciation, and camaraderie of friendship."
- "No matter what response you receive from the parents, be humble enough to listen and honor them. God will bless you for doing so. Remember, they've invested a big part of their lives in their daughter. And God has placed them in her life to protect her. Don't try to circumvent their authority. Instead, work with it and benefit from their wisdom."

- Chapter 6 - The Direction of Purity
- "The path you take with your feet should never contradict the conviction of your heart."

- Chapter 4 - Looking Up "Love" in God's Dictionary
- "We shouldn't allow our feelings to set the tone or the pace for our relationships. Instead, we need to allow wisdom and patience and selfishness to guide us."
- "As we relate to others today, we form patterns that we'll take with us into our marriages. For this reason, we must not only practice sincere love but also practice commitment-based love."

Tool Books - Prayers for Emotional Wholeness

I think it's worth paying homage to prayer books.

Prayers for Emotional Wholeness
- 365 Prayers for Living in Freedom
- Stormie Omartian

This is definitely my most used prayer book. It was on display and on sale for a few bucks a couple years ago at the christian bookstore at kipling and steeles, that's when I got it and it has been well worth the financial sacrifice.

I love it. It has 24 different topics. 10-20 short prayers for each topic, and a bible text with each prayer.
Some of the topics are:
 - When I Need Hope and Joy in My Heart
 - When I Need to Renew My Mind
 - When I Need Help in Tough Times
 - When I Need Comfort and Guidance
 - When I Need Help in My Relationships
 - When I Need to Feel Close to God
 - When I Need to Understand My Purpose and My Future

I use this book especially to pray for other people, and then while I'm doing that I end up using it to pray for myself. One of the reasons I really gravitate to this book, to put it simply without getting into any theology, is because it focuses primarily on the person instead of the person's circumstances.

I tweet and facebook a lot from this book. I'll usually put #prayer and #SO for Stormie Omartian. She has some other prayer books in the same format that I may get into later on.

Let me wet your tongue:

When I Need to Be Free of Anxiety and Depression

Lord, I put my hope in You. I refuse to look to other things or other people to give me purpose, fulfillment, and peace. I confess any anxiety I have as a lack of trust in Your ability to sustain me. I submit my life to You and put all my expectations in Your goodness, power, and love. Help me to pray about everything and trust You in every part of my life.

My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.
Psalm 62:5

Final Chapter - The Sixteenth Round

The Sixteenth Round by Rubin "Hurricane" Carter was a great read.

'The Hurricane" with Denzel Washington was a great film as well, and it was very cool that Toronto had a large part in the story and in the film, but let it be known that the movie has absolute nothing on the book! I wish the actual content of the book could be dramatized into a film. The film is more about what happened with Rubin Carter much after the publication of the book.

In short summary I was very intrigued with the amount and degree of injustice, racism, violence and homosexuality that was present in the criminal justice system and in the prisons, victimizing men from before they even hit puberty.

Here is a clip of a tiny glimpse of one of Rubin's many early experiences in prison. I believe he was around the age of 11 at this time, and the boys referred to in this little segment range in age from about 8 to 14 years old.

"Now I might have been a little more naive than was considered healthy for a Jamesburg youngster at that time, but I'll be goddamned if I was downright stupid! Jamesburg had taught me something since I'd been incarcerated there: now I knew what a faggot was when I saw one, and this was what we had in tow - a goddamned faggot, a fuck boy.

Wait a minute. I'll have to retract that statement; it's not entirely the truth. The boy was not a committed homosexual, but he did submit, nonetheless, to what, I think, were the degrading desires of stronger inmates in return for cigarettes, food, and favor. At Jamesburg, it made no difference if one had or didn't have the inclination to be somebody's "wife." If one couldn't protect himself in a sure-fire, devastating manner in a fight, before very long he would find himself switching and "married" to a tougher inmate. So this boy was less a pedigreed faggot than a simple jailhouse punk, which in my estimation is the difference between sugar and shit.

When our group had arrived back at the smoking corner, the cigarettes were lit again and passed around to everybody except the newest member. He was instead ordered to remove his pajamas and lay down on his stomach. Then, one by one, each of my associates mounted the boy-girl's back, grunted for a minute, groaned for another, then shuddered and relaxed.

This was the first time that I had ever witnessed a homosexual act, and, to be truthful, it was neither fascinating nor overly repulsive to me. But it did stink. I looked upon the deed with an attitude of dishonorable indifference: indifference, in that it had no physical effect upon my person; dishonorable in that, if this punk had offered only a molecule, a mere speck - a tiny smithereen - of resistance, verbally or otherwise, I would have forced myself to become his ally and be ready to go to war again, if necessary.

But undeclared offers are worthless. When my turn came to take a ride in his saddle, I declined as gracefully as possible. The only person who seemed to be offended was the punk himself, and if he had said anything, I would have broken my foot off in his nasty ass. Nobody else pressed the issue. Then all went back to bed. Thus ended my first day in Cottage Eight."
pg 76, The Sixth Round

smh...

Anyways, it took me a while to finish the second last chapter, the details of the final trial, maybe because I knew what the outcome was going to be. But nonetheless it was a pretty captivating read all in all.

Picture Books - 9/17/12

I think its only fitting that I have a segment where I post some of the cool reading pictures that I come across on my tumblr and such.


This picture is cute. Little black kids, nice hair, well dressed, reading books that identify with their heritage.

I like this list of to-do things, I definitely agree that reading is a cool thing to do as a couple. :p

This is awesome! A little 'newspaper' station where you can take a book, and leave a book? Coool! I would love to see what people desire to share with others, and I would love to, every now and again, leave a book that I've really enjoyed in hopes that maybe someone else will pick it up and enjoy it too!

Too cool. Books for 50 cents? Borrow a book? If you have no money and you wanna read, help yourself? I think I would wanna pay like $5 for a book just to give them a donation, lol.

This picture says having a bunch of books to read.. is a little reason to smile :) I agree!

Cool library! And cool outfit! :p

What Are You Reading???! - 'i, Robot'

It was cool to see Rowan reading -

i, Robot - by Isaac Asimov

the other day, I didn't know there was a book. Apparently the book is nothing like the movie. Rowan says the book is about an old lady whose worked at the plant or wherever for a lifetime, telling 9 stories of things that have happened over the years, to a reporter.
He was telling me about one of the stories where this robot won't believe that he was made by humans because humans are inferior, and in his understanding, there's no way something inferior can make something superior. So he believes that the machine that produced him, is God. And he worships the machine, and carries out his missions in service to the machine rather than the humans. But the humans don't mind because he's doing what they want him to do despite his motives.
And Rowan told me something about 'the three laws.' A robot must protect a human. A robot cannot harm a human, unless it's necessary to keep the first law. And a robot must obey a human. I have no ideas if those laws are right or not, I don't remember, but they sound good to me, lol.

Genre: Science fiction short stories
Series: Robot - series
Publication date: 2 December 1950
Pgs: 272

Seems like a very easy read. 9 different stories in 272 pages. I love when books have a lot of short sections.

What Are You Reading???! - 'The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner'

Last week at work Adrian wasn't the only one reading, Maggie had a new book on her too.

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner - by Stephenie Meyer

(side note: Maggie never has the covers on her books, at work, because she doesn't want to ruin them)

According to Wikipedia:

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner is a companion novella to the Twilight series. It tells the story of a newborn vampire, Bree Tanner, who is featured in the third book of the series, Eclipse. The book is written from the viewpoint of Bree, as opposed to the rest of the series which is predominantly narrated by character Bella Swan.

178 pg book.

I know Maggie finished this book already, I wonder if she'll be at work this evening with a new one.

What Are You Reading???! - 'Dark Haven'

Last week my friend Adrian brought a book to the table where five of us ended up playing 'Headbands' (so fun and hilarious) during our break at work, so I had to snap a picture of the book for you.

Dark Haven - by Gail Z. Martin
from - The Chronicles of the Necromancer

According to wikipedia:

The Chronicles of The Necromancer is a series of fantasy novels.

Dark Haven is the third book and was released in February, 2008.

(The books all continue from each other, so you won't understand what the book is really about, but I'll tell you anyways, just in case your interested in these kinds of books and hearing the type of stuff happening will intrigue you to read the series.)
(I wonder if Rowan has read or knows about this series, hmm, going to ask him tonight if he's at work.)

In Dark Haven, Vahanian has taken his post as lord of Dark Haven, and must deal with trouble caused by the vayash moru council member Uri and his brood. Meanwhile, Tris and Kiara plan their wedding while dealing with several assassination attempts. Tris is forced to go to war against Curane, who plans to kill the new Margolan king and queen and install Jared's bastard child in their place. During the war, Kiara is left at the Margolan castle, and must deal with more assassination attempts as well as the strategic removal of her companions.

Hmm, that planning wedding part sounds interesting, lol. :)

Glad I got a book from Adrian before he starts university in September, I may not see him as much, and he may not do as much leisure reading.

What Are You Reading???! - 'The Road Less Traveled'

I don't know if he's finished yet but a little over a week ago my bro Jermaine was reading:

The Road Less Traveled - by M. Scott Peck

According to Wikipedia:

The Road Less Traveled is a description of the attributes that make for a fulfilled human being, based largely on Peck's experiences as a psychiatrist and a person.

In the first section of the work Peck talks about discipline, which he considers essential for emotional, spiritual and psychological health, and which he describes as "the means of spiritual evolution".

In the second section, Peck considers the nature of love, which he considers the driving force behind spiritual growth.

The final section describes Grace, the powerful force originating outside human consciousness that nurtures spiritual growth in human beings.

--

When Jermaine and I talked he was on pg 45 of the book and these were some of his favorite quotes thus far:

Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths."

The feeling of being valuable -- "I am a valuable person" -- is a cornerstone of self-discipline. It is a direct product of parental love."

What are these tools, these techniques of suffering, these means of experiencing the pain of problems constructively that I call discipline? There are four: delaying gratification, acceptance of responsibility, dedication to truth, and balancing."

--

This is a book I would like to read.

Hey Stranger!! - 7/25/12

So last week at work again when I was doing trays (serving dinner to people who had surgery that day) there was one patient who asked me to help him with his iPad. It belonged to his wife and there was music playing and he didn't know from where or how to turn it off. When I finished helping him with that I noticed he had a book on his table, now in good standing with the man, he then graciously obliged when I asked if I could take a picture of it for my book blog.

The Devil in the White City - by Erik Larson

The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair That Changed America

Apparently it's a 2003 non-fiction book presented in novelistic style. The book is based on real characters and events.

According to wikipedia:

The book is set in Chicago circa 1893, intertwining the true tales of Daniel H. Burnham, the architect behind the 1893 World's Fair, and Dr. H. H. Holmes, the serial killer who lured his victims to their deaths in his elaborately constructed "Murder Castle".

Apparently there's a movie as well.

Seems pretty interesting, especially since it's based on real events.

What Are You Reading???! - 'Choose Life, Choose Words'

Glad to see that my homie Leidy is still reading :). But this time she's sharing an article with us!

Magazine: Victory
Article: Choose Life, Choose Words

Cherished Quotes:

God's kingdom is not a place. It is literally the King's domain (King-dom), the reality of His dominion. It's a divine system of government.

When we speak negative words or words that align with the curse (such as "I'm broke," "I'm sick," or "I'm a failure"), we activate the death cycle in our lives. When we speak God's Word about ourselves, we activate the life cycle of THE BLESSING.

God and His WORD are one. They cannot be separated. As John 1:1 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."

I learned from the Scriptures that everything in this universe was created by words. The heavens and the earth, the plants and animals, the race of man --- all came from what God said. This planet is a word-governed system."

---

Thanks for sharing Leidy :).

I'm going to add some lyrics from one of my favourite songs, 'I Speak Life' by Auldwin Johnson:

"I speak life over problems,

life over fears,

life over my pain - my body is healed,

life over circumstance - I'm no longer down,

I will not be bound,

I'm turning my frown upside down."

What Are You Reading???! - 'The Go-Getter'

Featuring another book from Ninnera's parent's library, but this book is being read by Dennis. He and I actually raided their library at the same time a few months ago, and we're very soon due for a repeat offence!

The Go-Getter - by Susan M. Fenton Willoughby

from: 1985

pgs: 96

- Adventist Author

Enjoy a bunch of quotes from the book as we figure out what it's about!:

What you will be, you are becoming.

No matter what your circumstances of life, courage will bring you closer to your goal.

Most people apply for and get jobs with an organization, but then it is up to them to turn those jobs into positions.

'If' IS NOT a part of a Go-Getters vocabulary.

Don't wait for an opening, make one for yourself.

Genius is one percent inspiration, and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

For the Go-Getters, 'Never' is not a word.

Even a clock that does not work, shows the correct time twice a day, stay positive. [<< my favourite :)]

Many people fail because they expect immediate results.

Diamonds are only chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.

Success is like a ratio: it's measured by what you are, against what you might have been.

Your best is enough, which is defined by fulfilling what you set out to accomplish.

Many people hide behind the fact that the Lord called uneducated men to be Jesus' disciples, these usually forget He was their teacher for three years."

This sounds like a Christian version to 'See You At The Top' - the book I posted about previously that Adriel was reading.

What Are You Reading???! - 'Eclipse'

So Sunday evening during break at work, I had slouched myself on two chairs and was starting to doze off. I heard Maggie behind me pull her purse closer to her, open it, and take something out. Then I heard what sounded like pages turning! I opened my eyes, turned my head around, I couldn't see what was on the table in front of her. "Are you reading!?" I asked. Her response was a pleasure to my ears, "Yaaa," with a *curious face* .. Lol.

Maggie was reading:

- Eclipse - by Stephenie Meyer
- the 3rd book in the Twilight Series

Maggie is an avid reader! She started the series on Wednesday July 18th, and by Sunday the 22nd she was halfway done the third book! Eclipse is 629 pages! She said it's a testament of how interesting the books are and how easy of a read they are.

Maggie says that it doesn't get annoying that the book is about vampires and werewolves. She says you get annoyed of certain characters at different times, but it seems as though that is due to the authors intentions.

I don't know much about Twilight but I know its known for it's love story. :)
Maggie highly recommends the series as a read!

(I took a couple pictures of inside the book just because I liked the different fonts that they used to portray hand written letters).

What Are You Reading???! - 'See You At The Top'

So on my overnight shifts Adriel is the second guy who is always faithfully reading. I swagger jack Rowan and Adriel once in a while but I'm usually sleeping.

Recently Adriels been reading - See You At The Top - by Zig Ziglar

This time around I didn't fail to capture some of the books artwork. I'll spell out for you the text with the pictures just in case you can't make it out.

Parents feed children: love, obedience, faith integrity, etc.
Teacher feeds child: honesty, patriotism, persistency, attitude, etc.
Professor feeds: goal setting, character, cooperation, etc.
Employer feeds: loyalty, total effort, dedication, etc.
Proper dieting is a lifetime proposition.
(I like that :p)

1. Start with total effort.
2. Prime the pump (put 'you' in whatever you do).
3. Persistence with perspiration before production.
4. Life returns so many rewards 'after' you do your part.

I asked Adriel if he had any favourite quotes, he said, "yea, everything in bold is pretty good."

if you expect to make it big, you must work toward your objectives every day.

Others can stop you temporarily - you are the only one who can do it permanently.

go as far as you can see and when you get there you will always be able to see farther.

Don't forget the little guys when you're at the top Adriel. :p

Local Alert!! - 'What We All Long For'

FYI! I am SO pro-Toronto!!!
This book that my friend Trish is reading, is a MUST READ for me!! (Eventually, lol). I'm so excited!! A book about Toronto written by a Toronto Author on a subject I'm so interested and passionate about!!! Who's the author and what's the subject? You'll find out soon! This is a GREAT find! And would you believe? Trish didn't want me to do a post on her book, because she thinks her review of it doesn't do the book justice. KMT! Good thing I asked her for everything I needed before I told her I was going to do a post! Lol.

What We All Long For - By Dionne Brand

In the words of Trish -
"Its about four friends who are joined together by family circumstances. The parents of one of the four came from Vietnam and had lost a son on the journey, during the war, and are still sorrowful. The book shows that people struggle, immigrants coming into Canada struggle with their own identity, with what has been placed upon them by the society that they have now come to live with. They struggle to preserve the culture that they had, living how they once lived. It talks about us as humans, how we long for acceptance, we long to be free from biases and stereotypes placed upon us from society and even family members."
- That's an excellent review in my opinion.


One of Trish' favourite parts from the book:
(transcribed from a voice note)
"Richmondhill is a sprawling suburb outside of the city. It is one of the suburbs where immigrants go to get away from other immigrants, but of course they end up living with all the other immigrants running away from themselves. Or at least running away from the self they think is weak, helpless, unsuitable, and always in some kind of trouble. They hate that self that keeps showing attention, the one that can't fit in because of colour or language, or both. And they think that moving to a suburb will somehow eradicate that person once and for all. And after all the humiliations of being that self, after they've worked hard enough at two or three jobs and saved enough by crowding their families in small dorm rooms, cobbled together enough credit: immigrants flee to rangy, look alike, desolate suburbs like Richmondhill, where the houses give them a sense of space and distance from the troubled image of themselves."

SCREAM!!!!
Excellent review Trish!!!
I MUST have and read and keep this book!!!!
I looooooooove it already!!!!!
Yummm!

Hey Stranger!! - 7/18/12

Sooo... :) When I see random persons with a book, I will ask them if I can take a picture of it for my book club blog, and then I'll post all the pictures from that day under a 'Hey Strangers' post with that day's date! :))


Here we go! These books are all books that random patients had yesterday evening at work!


Ace Frehley - No Regrets
- from KISS - Coool!
- talks about his experiences with the band and so fourth
- the patient reading this said it was something different from what he normally reads so it was pretty interesting

Robert Ludlum's - The Bourne Dominion - by Eric Van Lustbader

- A New Jason Bourne Novel - Cooooooooooool!!!!!!

- I love Jason Bourne movies!! I didn't even know there are Jason Bourne Novels!! Cooool!

- I wouldn't read this by myself though, but I would read it with a group of people.. Takers? 

Run For Your Life - James Patterson & Michael Ledwidge
- The lady who was reading this book was very excited to share.
- She asked me if I was in school, and she got nervous when I told her I just graduated with a psychology degree.
- "Ohh! Blush* Do the books that people read tell you about who they are? I'm nothing like this, I just really like the stories, he's such a good author, have you read him?"
- lol, so sweet
- 'A calculating killer who calls himself The Teacher is taking on New York City , killing the powerful and the arrogant. His message is clear: remember your manners or suffer the consequences!" << Snippet from Indigo
- I don't think I've read Patterson before but I would be interested in reading this book, I used to read crime mysteries when I was in grade nine or ten. There was a series I used to read, I don't remember what it was called though, I wonder if Toronto Public Library has a record of the books I checked out.. I would be so interested to look at those crime books again. They were good, and it was so new and unusual for me to be reading those times. It was fun to read books that were from a series. That was also a new experience for me.
- But ya, these types of books would be fun to read as a group, I wouldn't care to read them by myself anymore. But I would rather read this book over the Jason Bourne book.
- And the lady had a cool butterfly bookmark, I tried to get it in the picture.